Bottled Up

Okay, it’s been a while since I’ve written. There are lots of things to think through and a ton of events that I didn’t properly document. I apologize. It’s my goal to include as much as possible in this account of my senior year, but things will fall through the cracks and it’s because of how crazy my life is. I don’t have much time to sit and write because if I’m not doing something productive, I’m doing something completely unproductive (Watching Jane the Virgin) or chatting with someone.

Here are a list of topics I’d like to talk about but probably won’t get to. Remember, as much as this is a blog and an account of history, it’s also a diary of not-too-personal stuff.

  • Jane the Virgin is a wonderful show
    • makes me think a lot about marriage
    • and the whole infant process from pregnancy to newborn (all the phase I’m scared of – I’m very excited for the talking/potty trained point on!!)
    • It’s the most perfect romance narrative I’ve ever experienced
  • PFresh – wanting to quit
    • PFam & my relationship to it
    • D23N2I – Dance to express, not to impress, our supposed motto that half the people not only don’t follow, but fight against
  • Elitism
    • Being just a resume is ultimately empty and useless, save for the shallow pride it offers
    • People who care about life and being a good person – that’s the point, that’s success
      • not making the most money
      • Business majors suck for sure & some engineers hate their jobs/kinda suck
      • and they don’t suck because they make money… they suck because they don’t care where their money comes from
      • people who DON’T care and AREN’T responsible and end up as teachers because they don’t know what else to do because they don’t care what they do – those people suck too
      • Sucking isn’t determined by salary, it’s determined by character
  • Family weekend at UW Platteville – this past weekend
    • I’m so so glad I was able to talk to Emmy for a couple hours about everything. I really love her, even though we’ve grown pretty far apart, the other night, I kinda saw that we’re growing closer, but individually? We’ve both become a lot more open in our thought processes.
    • I support Em 100% but I have no idea what to do to help her life become any easier. Not that she needs my help, I just wish I knew how to support her. I don’t even know what to think. I don’t understand her college, I know nothing about her major, and she’s been doing great with picking good friends – I’m clearly not good at that. I don’t know. I just have no advice. For the first time, I really don’t know what to do. For the first time, I think I’m unqualified to give advice.
  • Who will be my bridesmaids?
    • I’m bad at keeping friends… there are finally people I really love in life. I’m so bad at keeping them close. It makes me so sad.
    • I wish I could quit PFresh and Scholastic and skate by on accounting, but spend my time on friendships and writing (FTT, philosophy, my own writing, etc.)

There will be more, later, I’m sure.

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